


Tentacles in the Bath

by KaavyaWriting



Series: Obligatory Tentacle Porn [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, M/M, Obligatory Tentacle Porn, Smut, Tentacle Thorin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 17:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaavyaWriting/pseuds/KaavyaWriting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo takes a bath with Thorin. Sex ensues -- and Bilbo is surprised by something extra in the water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tentacles in the Bath

**Author's Note:**

> [Lilithiumwords](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithiumwords/pseuds/lilithiumwords) and I did a thing. Accidentally at the same time. No conspiracy here. Or maybe, possibly I said a thing. And then Lilithiumwords [wrote a thing](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1109534). And then I wrote a thing. And nope, not sorry! *runs away laughing*
> 
> Oh, I should say though, this starts abruptly as it emerged from another fic I'm writing and became something else entirely (read: cracked Thilbo tentacle porn!), so Bilbo and Thorin are at Beorn's, in our favorite shape-shifter's conveniently huge bathtub. Now I personally think I am terrible at porn, and this is unbeta'ed, so go unto the breach at your own discretion and all that. :) *runs away properly now*

He stared at Thorin, startled, who was watching his face with a curious, hungry look in his eyes. Bilbo flushed.

"Is anything the matter?" Thorin asked, fingers firm and warm against the sensitive skin of his calf. 

"N-no, it's fine. I'm fine. W-what are you doing?" Thorin kept staring, studying him. Fingers traced the length of his leg, from the back of his knee down to his heel. There was no washcloth in sight. If Bilbo didn't know any better, he would think Thorin was doing that on purpose.

Only now… Now Thorin was massaging the calf of his left leg and watching him with dark eyes and a mouth curling just so in the teasing smile Bilbo was sure no one ever saw but him… Thorin hmmed softly, smile broadening ever so slightly. "It will help to relax your muscles."

"Oh," he said, rather more breathlessly than he intended, because Thorin's fingers pressed in just so at his ankle. When Bilbo's gaze dropped down to Thorin's hand he found..not a hand, but a, well, a _tentacle_ about as thick as his wrist curling gently around his leg, black as Thorin's hair. What he'd thought were fingers were tiny suckers kneading his muscles.

"Um," Bilbo said, blinking sluggishly. "Thorin, what are those?"

Thorin seemed pleased by Bilbo's question. It was only then it occurred to Bilbo the dwarf probably expected Bilbo to run screaming from the room. Not that Bilbo was in any condition to run, but that was beside the point.

Though his body was making an entirely too concerted effort at rallying 'round despite the ache an exhaustion sunk deep into his bones, and he was much, much too muzzy to give a toss. Both about his exhaustion and the strange and entirely pleasant-feeling tentacles—there was a second one now, sliding about his other leg.

"They are _akùnûr_ , grippers." Thorin leaned forward, kissed his knee. "All dwarves have them, for moving in…tight places." He was definitely smiling against Bilbo's knee. Bilbo narrowed his eyes.

"Is that—oh! That's quite, quite nice," he gasped as the tentacles squeezed gently. They were pushing his legs part and Thorin slid in closer, fingers of one hand teasing up Bilbo's thigh under the water.

"It's harder to control them in water," Thorin said, not a note of apology in his voice. Indeed, he sounded rather smug.

A third tentacle began twining about Bilbo's wrist. "Ah," he said intelligently, his mind trying and failing to wrap about any particular detail with any coherency. "How many did you say there are?"

"I didn't." Thorin hummed, and pressed in closer, trailing kisses along Bilbo's stomach. He shot Bilbo a fleeting smile. Bilbo tried to tug his hand free of the one oddly smooth tentacle only to find it holding fast.

At least his other hand was still free, which he used to great effect by twining in Thorin's hair and holding the dwarf king in place. He finds he's not eager to get out of Beorn's tub just yet, and would rather Thorin stayed with him, preferably exactly where he knelt between Bilbo's knees.

Thorin seemed to sense Bilbo's thoughts, for he chuckled against Bilbo's skin where he was still lazily peppering kisses. "Just relax, burglar. I will look after you." The _akùnûr_ were moving rhythmically against Bilbo's body, teasing every inch of skin in their path.

Bilbo groaned appreciatively. For the first time since they'd dropped into the goblin caves Bilbo felt like he wasn't bruised and aching in the slightest. If he didn't know any better he would have sworn he was floating on a cloud. A lovely cloud with massaging tentacles and a very, very attentive mouth.

Oh, and when had his eyes fallen shut? He wanted to _watch_ Thorin, with his deep dark eyes gleaming with want.

But he was so tired, and Thorin was almost painfully comfortable, hands and mouth and _akùnûr_ all moving oh so gently, like Bilbo's pleasure was his utmost concern. Bilbo whimpered and felt a fourth tentacle tease lightly across his very alert cock—undoubtedly the only alert part of him—before it wrapped around his length a little more firmly.

The lazy pleasure of it all spiked too much at the touch, and Bilbo was gone, body spasming, hips shuddering upward in release. Thorin never stopped his constant teasing massage until Bilbo stilled in his grip.

When Bilbo managed to pry his eyelids open Thorin was smiling at him, entirely pleased with himself.

"Are you well then, burglar?"

Bilbo felt the flush spread over his cheeks. "I should hope you know the answer to that."

Thorin's smile broadened and he leaned forward to press a lazy, satisfied kiss against Bilbo's lips. "I have some notion."

Bilbo would have thought he'd hallucinated the whole thing—or, well, the tentacles, at least—if it weren't for the fact that the two around his legs were still there, their grip on him looser, but no less soothing in their movements.

He smiled and leaned forward to kiss Thorin once more. "We'll be doing this again. Later. When I'm not one giant bruise. But before we leave Beorn's." Bilbo wasn't sure if he was giving an order or babbling. Probably both.

Thorin didn't seem to mind. He simply arched an eyebrow. "Of course."

~*~*~

**Author's Note:**

> Khuzdul:  
>  _akùnûr_ \- grips


End file.
